Umpires - A player's perspective.

Before I start getting stuck into the fairly controversial subject of ‘umpiring’, take a moment and think back to the most enjoyable matches you've ever played in. Can you recall any incidents with umpires in such games? I bet you can’t. Umpires have the ability to make or break a game, but ensuring the game runs smoothly and remains enjoyable is no easy task. It only takes one lapse of concentration, leading to an important decision being based on an educated guess, to change the entire atmosphere of a game.

What we must realise as players, is that any umpire, regardless of qualifications or experience will eventually make a mistake, it is after all human nature to balls things up. This is where the decision review system prevalent in international tournaments acts as a form of ‘get out of jail free card’ for umpires who've drifted off to think about what they’re going to have for dinner when they get home, and in turn miss a potential result determining, last minute foot in the ‘D’. 

Unfortunately the review system hasn't worked its way into the domestic game, probably as it involves filming the match to then review if called upon. Personally I think nominating a member of the ‘crowd’ to film and act as a stand-in 3^rd umpire would be amusing, but would probably cause more problems than it would solve.

Poor umpiring, especially in the lower leagues where umpires aren't appointed is forgiveable, however the problem arises when umpires officiate dishonestly. We've all experienced the classic 'first one' excuse:

But why do they do it? Why not be honest and just admit that they've not seen the offence? Well, appointed umpires have a ‘reputation’ to uphold as they’ll have achieved at least the prestigious level 1 qualification and therefore will not want to appear out of control. But some umpires need to realise that they ruin matches by attempting to become too involved and not letting the game flow. If I had been given a pound for every time I've turned up to a game, recognised the umpire and thought, this is going to be ‘fun’, I’d be a rich yet still grumpy man.

I wanted to see whether you, the hockey community, had any funny stories to tell regarding incidents with umpires, or whether I just need to bite the bullet and show the hockey police more respect. Here are some of the best responses tweeted in:

If these examples don’t scream inconsistency/incompetence then you should consider doing your level 1 umpiring qualification, seriously, you’d fit right in.

Oh and whatever you do, don’t let your potty-mouthed coach loose on an umpire or else there’s a good chance this will happen:

In all honesty though, if you’re one of the good guys then thank you for doing a great job and letting us players get on worrying about not stopping the ball, or giving away possession to the opposition’s centre forward etc. Thanks to everyone who tweeted in with their umpiring stories. If you're still reading by this point I'd appreciate it if you could share this with other hockey players, or umpires if you fancy an argument, Cheers! 

Charlie

Pre-season Fitness

Yep it's that time of year again, pre-season fitness. Feared by all players, except perhaps the elite, or those unpopular individuals who use sayings such as "no pain, no gain." Personally I think anyone who says they enjoy pre-season are either lying, or have cheated during the off-season by staying in shape so that they can laugh at the rest of us.

The problem is, the same scenario occurs every year. The season finishes, your coach tells you to stay fit, and for some reason you never listen. You tell yourself "it'll be fine, my fitness won't deteriorate that much before the season starts up again..." Unfortunately reality only kicks in when you pitch up to the first session back, wearing that training shirt you swore fit you a few months ago. The only silver lining is that most of your team mates have clearly indulged in the "see food" diet as well. In fact, when I was re-united with the team I thought I'd accidentally turned up to the ladies' session - some of the moobs were quite impressive.

After a quick catch up you hear those fateful words, "Right, in you come then everyone." Next thing you know you're running up and down the pitch with your coach shouting at you as if you've turned up late to an army boot-camp. Don't you just hate how they stand there, laughing inside at your suffering, whilst conveying about as much remorse as Hitler? I'm pretty sure I made it to at least the 25 yard line before contemplating throwing in the towel as a player and going down the coaching route, so I too could shout at overweight people whilst never having to run myself. Honestly though, have you ever seen your coach run? Didn't think so. After an hour and a half of hell, over the course of which you've sweated more than Rolf Harris at a crèche, the session is over and you head home with the knowledge that you're going to need a full-body cast tomorrow morning.

Luckily, you remember pre-season fitness coincides with the summer holidays, so like a prisoner of war desperate to escape, you book a last minute getaway and jet off to somewhere warm and peaceful, where there's no shouting or running around. I can picture it now, there you are on your sun lounger, plying yourself with enough food and drink to satisfy several people, but you can't help but feel guilty at the thought of your fellow team-mates being whipped (not literally I hope) into shape back home. Not only this, but deep down you know that having missed the fitness sessions, you're going to have to work so much harder upon your return. Still, the pizzas and copious amounts of alcohol will numb the pain for now right?! 

Anyway, to those of you who haven't run away from pre-season (no pun intended), I salute you. To those of you who have, I'll be seeing you soon... RIP.

Charlie